Can't have it all.

This is my complaint post, I think I am allowed to have at least one of these.

I miss my small town back home.
I miss knowing everyone and knowing how to get everywhere.
I miss being able to ask someone for directions without saying "Excuse me, do you speak english?"
I miss my friends and family.
I miss my doggie.
I miss ice.
I miss my car.
I miss my cellphone.
I miss my little tiny comfy bed.
I miss normal water.
I miss looking at my window and seeing the mountains.
I miss screaming at Owens football games and cheering on my boys.
I miss my bathrobe.
I miss swimming at the Northfork swimming hole and hiking in Montreat.
I miss Ashevilles crazy stupid shenanigans.

I have been having the WORST time getting around Cologne, it's soooooo big and theres so many people, I can see 4 train stops and 2 bus stops at any given moment in the city. I can get lost biking to school. I can't read the street signs or the maps. I don't know how to find the platform for a train. I can't even go for an afternoon run without getting lost and having a mini heart attack. I am so lost in this huge city and it's so different from Black mountain NC or any other place I have ever been. I have even cried a few times because I got lost with no phone and no idea how to get home or read a map or which train to take. I have felt alone in the middle of a city I don't know, with people who can't talk to me.

But the weird part is... I love it. 

I would trade all the things i miss for more experiences like the ones I have made in the past few weeks.

In a heartbeat.

Half of me wants me to go home where I know I can't get lost walking from the store to school.

But the other half can't wait to get lost in this amazing city more.

Find things out on my own.

Trust my inner voice and reason.

I guess I will see where I go.

Pray for me.

I want to make it out alive.

<3

Or at least find my way back home in a years time.

I miss everyone.